flawed beauty

Warning. This one is gonna be wordy!

So last night I was talking with a new friend, someone Meila knows who decided to come give SL a shot. I promised him I would put a picture on the blog of him so everyone can say “OMG look it’s Kato, he’s faaaaaamous!” <- lol. I will keep that promise… at the end of this post. =P

We were doing the getting to know you kind of talk, hopes, dreams tragedies, how’d you meet so and so etc. We got on the topic of why SL can be so addicting. I proposed that most people who are very happy with their real lives and their real life selves, or very content/satisfied with their real life, may be less inclined to become addicted to SL because they don’t need a second existence that they can control to be fulfilled.

I will use myself as an example. I feel very out of control in my real life. I am tall and socially awkward. I am not conventionally beautiful, I am not college educated, and I am not financially stable. In my second existence, I can be pretty or ugly on a whim. Tall or short, fat or thin. Glamorous fashion can be had with the click of a button for mere pennies, gray hair is only on your head if you put it there, and there’s ALWAYS something or someone to do if you want it. In other words – I have complete control. Control over how I look, the kind of lifestyle I live, the people I meet and talk to or choose not to talk to. And none of that can REALLY be affected by anyone else, the government, not having a job, being fat or too tall irl. The only thing that can shut me down for realsies is LL.

But then, despite of all that ability to control perfection… I rebel. I don’t want my avatar to be perfect. To me she is beautiful, and I work hard to craft her into the image of beauty in my head. On the other hand, I make her intentionally flawed. Her ears are a funny shape and stick out way too far. One of her eyes is bigger than the other. Her mouth is offset, her nose is crooked. When the overwhelming reaction to my new favorite skin was “creepy real” and generally negative, I wanted to buy it all the more. Her butt is invariably too big and I make a lot of funny faces. I even gave her a scar in the picture above! (Wish I knew how to make tattoo layers ahhh! =P)  So why do I do this, despite having a perfectly symmetrical canvas to work with?

I’m not sure why I do it. I like to see the flaws in my avatar, maybe it makes her more real for me. Maybe it makes her more ME, despite being completely different in every way. I used to think I was addicted to shopping in SL… well I still think I am. But I also think I’m addicted to the life I have there, in it’s ups and downs, despite it sometimes driving me insane. Addiction, another flaw in the real life me. =P Hehe. I don’t know where I am going with this now, so enjoy the pictures and have a wonderful Labor Day! I may post again about some hair fair finds orrrr I may finish my much talked about never revealed SLURL’s list. >.>

Hair – Exile: Bronwyn (limited edition available now @ TDR Blue) | Skin – Mother Goose’s – Jeanne | Eyes – Poetic Colors: Summer Wheat (GSH prize) | Earrings – Whippet & Buck: Wet Pearl Chandelier (at Designers United) |  Necklace – Paper Couture: Heirloom Pendant | Dress – Whippet & Buck: Jonquilla (at Designer’s United) | Shoes – Gos Collective: Espadrille’s | Poses –  GLITTERATI: Model Pose Pack☆

One response to “flawed beauty”

  1. ♥ It is very true and I’m glad you blogged about this . Some people don’t see how it can be addictive or why. “Why don’t you just not log on today?” ERRM.

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